Job interviews…

… and why I suck at them.

All what is happening around us, the digitisation of our world and the ever-connectedness that comes with it, to me this is all just an awe-inspiring invigorating enlivening exhilarating over the moon one great fucking huge adventure, with software sprouting everywhere only to be consumed brainfinger-lickingly, and with layers that are going down deeper and deeper and everything being close-looped and crossed over, all that just absolutely blows my mind, every single day, again and again. That what is ahead of us, the breadth of the tech horizon of which we’ve only just seen a fraction so far (its maybe 5:45am on a winter morning), is just so gobsmackingly fabulous and exiting and inspiring right down to the tiniest braincell (and heart.bit), its the best reason to get out of bed every morning to see where we’ve gotten to today. At least that’s what I kinda think and feel about the whole thing.

But – when at a job interview I find it simply impossible to even begin to give a proper answer to questions like “where do you see personal enhancement opportunities” or “can you describe a situation past with communication gone wrong” or “would you see yourself rather-than-as?”

I live business, every day. At home, outside, inside. I respect and deal with every person same. I believe in kindness, ethics and aesthetics. If we happen to interact over business, then this will be the background for the pleasurable experience ahead of us. I refuse to encourage or pursue corrosive or unsocial behaviour, and don’t spend much time on being miserable or on making others miserable. I actually really enjoy life, and people, and all. We are all different. We are all fascinating. But to start us off at our very first encounter by making me rehearse a really bad experience of the past is first (and worst) of all very unromantic. Then I’d say its bad manners. But to then also already know that you actually do not care or want to know anything about the case in question, but instead you honestly think you can ‘read me authentically’ while I pretend to have witnessed a madeup/usable/plausible example of a long gone tragedy, that not only lacks romance and manners, it also lacks inspiration and the general love of things. This whole double-blind reverse psychology entrapment of interviewer panels having to tick HR boxes makes me spontaneously sick and wanna sob on your shoulder. If you are looking for an actor or an actress, why don’t you say so? Advertise that! Save us all hassle and time. Why do you invite someone to observe how you make them cringe – just for the sake of it? (because it needs to be authentic you see)?

My best friend is a psychotherapist and counsellor. When she heard me saying that I went to the career adviser at the Uni before the job interview she sprayed her breakfast cereals thru the kitchen bursting into laughter imagining me sitting in front of a 29-year-old giving me advice on people encounters (not in one long sentence without punctuation though).

Well and then she gave me this long hard somewhat bedazzled look, with milk dripping from her nose 🙂
And then asked me a few serious questions.

So yes. I think I will always suck at job interviews.

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